Past Weekend

I now understand what some people go thru with cancer dealing with friends and family. I more than understand why some people keep to themselves and keep their cancer experience from others. My weekend on Saturday was very productive and very relaxing. Sunday started out good but ended badly. I attended the funeral of an extended family member who recently found out she had cancer and only lasted a few months. The calling hours brought together many of my relatives and friends who have not seen me since we found the cancer. Patti and I had a real concern that something would be brought up about my choosing to drop the interferon. That did not happen. Instead I was avoided by some, as it was clear that they did not want to deal with it. Others were supportive. Others just wanted to know how long the doctors gave me. Some are going thru their own trials and did not know and tried to be supportive. I guess the biggest blow to my trying to stay upbeat where comments like "melanoma is tough, you won't last long." Or "to bad it is melanoma, it's nasty, you don't have much a chance." Or "I knew someone who had melanoma, they didn't last long." These came from people who I admire and respect, but just do not think that they get it when it comes to dealing with people and their emotions or their struggle.

I have been bummed out most of the evening and this morning, but have taken a different attitude as I write this blog. Yes, my days might be numbered, but they were long before I was born. I cannot change that. We were all born with a mortality date that only God knows. I feel that I am doing all I can to lengthen my time here but I know that I could die this morning going to work from a car accident or other things. Yet I know where I will be when my life leaves this earth. I know my family will be taken care of by the Lord and that I will be with him. I take heart in knowing that people say the wrong things with the right intention. Sometimes it just hurts when it is said.