First Treatment day

I could hardly sleep last night in anticipation of getting started on the radiation therapy. I kept waking up every 20-30 minutes looking at the clock to make sure that I would get up on time. Patti and I got there at 7:33 and we were out the door at 7:50. They told me it would be faster from now on because the had to do some final alignments and give me one more tattoo. I asked for a train, but they only do green dots. I am extremely tired today and do not know if it from waking up so much or the radiation. I am figuring it is the lack of sleep at this point. Sunday was a real upbeat day as I really was looking forward to the radiation therapy. It has been 4 weeks since the surgery to remove the cancer and the wait is worse than anything. I have been very down the past week as I just wanted to get things going and did way too much reading on the net. I must keep remembering that I am an individual and not a statistic. The words of encouragement from my friends and fellow church members always gives me a lift. The last thing I wanted to do was to drag myself out of the house on Sunday night for the evening service. Patti would have been willing to stay home if that was my choice, but at the last minute I said "let's go". It truly turned out to be a blessing talking with others. It helped me lift my spirits and turned some of my anger I have been feeling into joy. The anger was not bad, it was just my way of getting tough and jumping into the fight to lick this situation. Patti really needs some prayer as she is really having a tough time with her mom. It is like her mom wants to go to the hospital for attention or something like that. I listen to Patti talking to her on the phone and it is like talking to a child. She does not want to eat or do anything to make herself better. Her sister was in the hospital for a week and it seems like she wants to do the same thing. Other family members have been tied up with their own medical and family problems or out of town. Although there are a lot of other family members, things do get busy and it is tough on all. Patti tries so hard to be the fixer. She is trying so hard to to fix me that I worry about her. So again, pray for her. Thanks.